The following is our proposed music video infomercial script for an exhumed/reanimated Billy Mays:
Are you tired of your ONE-TAKE music videos being ONE-DIMENSIONAL?? Do you find yourself saying, “Man, if I see ONE MORE SLOW PAN of a brooding frontman I’m going to SLAPCHOP™™™™ MY EYES OUT??? WELL, WE HAVE THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (etc etc)
DJ Shadow‘s new video for “Scale It Back” featuring Little Dragon is the single-take music video with EVERYTHING YOU NEED AND MORE!!!
A pterodactyl dude pushing a shopping cart? YOU GOT IT! An old man fighting a Street Fighter cosplay lady? DUH! A breakdancing Asian viking? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK?
And if THAT’S not enough, we’ll top it all off by throwing in a CARD-MEMORIZING SAVANT jumping out of a GIANT CAKE. YOU WON’T FIND A MUSIC VIDEO LIKE THIS ANYWHERE ELSE!!!
Don’t miss your ONCE IN A LIFETIME chance to check out this IMAGINATIVE, INNOVATIVE new video! ACT NOW AND WATCH IT BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!