Did you hear that some people in Australia want to replace Santa
Claus’s trademark phrase “ho ho ho?” for “ha ha ha,” as not to offend
any women? Yep! Another fall-out from the Don Imus scandal! We’re for
real. Political correctness now even stands in danger of ruining a
holiday classic.

But it won’t ruin our 2007 Holiday Gift Guide! Nope, from gangsta rap
coloring books to sparkly vibrators to snakeskin fanny packs, there’s
something on it to offend – but also delight – everyone. Take a look.
Ha ha h- screw it. Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to
all, and to all a good night!

1) THE DIANA CAMERA
PRICE: $65
WHERE TO BUY: Lomography.com; Amazon.com; Character, 19 Prince St., NY, NY
FOR: The established or aspiring photog on your list. Or for people in search of a non-iPhotoBooth means of taking unusual photos.

The simple, light-weight camera from Lomo looks like a toy camera. It was first produced in the 1960’s in Hong Kong, but didn’t sell well and so it was discontinued. Well guess who had the last laugh? That’s right, the Diana camera! Turns out people dug the kind of hazy, blurred quality of the pictures that the camera produced. The lens only partially covers the film frame, so the results are often dreamily distorted images. They became a cult favorite. At sixty-five bucks a pop, it’s a fair deal. And the camera itself is quite a looker, too.

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2) YANA FANNY PACK PURSE
PRICE: $70-$98
WHERE TO BUY: Lola y Maria, 175 Rivington Street, NY, NY
FOR: Dance-loving gamines bumping and grinding in the basement of the Annex.

Okay, so fanny packs have forever walked a fine line in terms of being en vogue and just making one look plain clueless. Lost tourists wear them as they walk five in a row, side-by-side down the sidewalks, looking for Canal Street and frustrating the locals. Sarah Jessica Parker wore a Gucci one on ‘Sex and the City.’ I myself used to sport one as I’d be strolling down Main Street in Disneyworld, flashing my braces and secretly being terrified of going on ‘Splash Mountain.’ A much-hyped all-girl Brooklyn group even named themselves after them. And then went out of style faster than the aforementioned Gucci one.

But these ones at Lola y Maria – a great boutique east of Clinton Street that specializes in Latin designers – are quite frankly, quite awesome. They look cool, most of them are made of 100% snakeskin, and you know what’s the best thing about them? They’re great for when you dance! Think about it: purses are a real nuisance when you’re jumping around to ‘Gloria’ at 2 in the morning at Dark Room. Purse straps fall down, and the body of purses often swing around and hit the people you’re dancing with. But if you don’t have them with you, you have to put tuck them away in a booth or hide them behind the DJ booth and pray they’re not stolen. These stay securely on you, are small enough so they’re not a hindrance, and look cool. Give it a try!

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3) SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT
PRICE: $65
WHERE TO BUY: Freeman’s Sporting Club, 8 Rivington Street , NY, NY
FOR: Your dad. The next time he comes to visit Manhattan.

If your dad is like mine, he likes coming to the city to eat and drink and of course, see his precious offspring. But a lot of times, he gets stuck wandering around while you and Mom waste away the day shopping.

This would be a good gift for your father the next time he comes to town and you and your mom make a beeline for Bloomingdales (Barney’s, if she’s feeling generous). He’ll then I’m going to send him to Freeman’s Sports Club to hang out for a little bit. He digs the whole ‘old English’ vibe there. If I had the money, I’d get him a custom-made suit from FSC but well, yeah….one of these days.

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4) WIND-UP RADIO
PRICE: $65
WHERE TO BUY: MOMA Design store; Amazon.com
FOR: Your pal who a) loves music and b) reads the news a lot and is convinced a terrorist attack is going to happen.

On the surface, this AM/FM/TV-VHF radio is like an Olsen twin: small and pretty and bold, all at the same time. It’s supposedly water-resistant, and can be powered with a twist of the little hand-crank to the side. But guess what? If somehow you got duped into camping and you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, it could maybe save your life! Or at least enable you to pass the time gabbing on your cell instead of singing campfire songs! It’s got a siren call, a red signal light, LED flashlight, AND a phone charger! Awesome. If you don’t trust the fact that the hand crank will enable it to tune in, then it runs on AA batteries.

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5) CHECK MONSTER VERSION 2 HOODIE
PRICE: $75
WHERE TO BUY: PearClothing.com
FOR: Friends; your little sister who wants to be that chick in Paramore (she wears Paer!).

Three artsy kids from the O.C. (correction: O.C …apparently you’re not supposed to use the article before and call it the O.C …only the massively uncool who only know about it from the TV show do that, I have been told) got together in a garage and created Paer clothing. They design shirts, tanks and hoodies and screen them by hand and are heavily influenced by art and music, especially music (Ryan, the guy that silkscreens the shirts, is in a band).

We chose this hoodie because it’s cool and basic and would make a good gift for both a guy or a girl on your gift list (it also comes in white), but they also have a ton of more stuff with really beautiful, intricate designs and explosive colors and patterns.

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6) THE GANGSTA RAP COLORING BOOK
PRICE: $9
WHERE TO BUY: TurntableLab.com, 120 East 7th St., NY, NY; Amazon.com
FOR: Secret Santa recipients (if they’re cool like that); younger siblings (or not).

This book is exactly what it sounds like – 50 pages of black-and-white outlines of MC’s you can, um, color. Be daring and give someone who was in the Crips a red t-shirt! It’s not just for coloring either; it kind of serves as an homage to hip hop legends – everyone’s in there, from DJ Quik to Diddy. The pictures were done by San Francisco artist Aye Jay.

Imagine how much fun it would be to work on a picture of Trick Daddy while singing along to “Take It To The House.” But if you want it, get it soon. Lots of social groups are calling for it to be taken off the shelves, for reasons you can probably guess. Some of them have to do with the fact that many of the pages have guns on them.

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7) iKARAOKE
PRICE: $49.99
WHERE TO BUY: GriffinTechnology.com
FOR: Anyone you don’t mind listening to do their best Fergie or Madonna.

Kurt Cobain once said that karaoke was “when drunk secretaries got up and sang ‘Feelings.’” He was right.  It’s also when friends let other friends toss back too may expensive G&T’s so they can muster up the courage to belt out ‘Material Girl.’

With this device, you can say goodbye to overpriced drinks and renting out rooms by the hour at Sing Sing or Village Karoake. Buy a handle of Jack at your discount liquor store, invite the gang over, and go for it in your living room! All you have to do is plug the ikaraoke into your ipod and – wham! – the lead voice track is isolated and faded, leaving you to go to town with the backing tracks and instrumentals. You don’t have to compete with Fergie’s vocals anymore – “Glamourous” is all yours.

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8) NARS BLUSH AND LIP GLOSS GIFT SET
PRICE: $45
WHERE TO BUY: Sephora (they are as common as Starbucks if you are in Mahattan)
FOR: Post Art Basel revelers looking to sustain that Miami sheen; Secret Santa gift recipients

Deep Throat blush and Striptease lip gloss. They may sound like staples in a porn star’s makeup bag, but what’s wrong with wanting to capture that ole’ post-coital glow? I’m no make-up counter salesperson, but believe me, this blush can contour. It’s also effective in combattng the washed-out look that plagues even the best of us in the dead of winter.

NARS products work for everyone. And Sephora ships really fast. This is a nice little set and it makes a swell stocking stuffer! Or you can have them ‘gift-package’ it when you order it online and it’ll come ready to look all pretty under your tree. Or Menorah. We’re cool with all the holidays.

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9) PLANET EARTH
DVD SET
PRICE: $54.99
WHERE TO BUY: Amazon.com
FOR: Boyfriends!

There’s a lot of things that suck for our generation right now, but TV isn’t one of them! Think about it: Weeds, Lost, Dexter, Nip/Tuck, Project Runway, The Sopranos, Curb, Family Guy, and VH1 Classics.  And if you haven’t put off cleaning your apartment or going out because you got absorbed and wrapped up on your couch, watching Planet Earth and almost choking at how stunning Mother Nature is – especially in HD! – then you are lying. Or you have no soul and don’t recycle.

This five-DVD set has eleven episodes, bonus footage, and behind-the-scenes vignettes about the technology they used it and the perils faced when filming this. The latter is as interesting and even as breathtaking as the series itself.

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10) WeSC DJ Pro Aoki Headphones
PRICE: $149
WHERE TO BUY: TurntableLab.com
FOR: Your friends, particularly your friends who DJ

Earbuds suck. And they hurt! And they collect ear wax…eww. And they’re really not so great at canceling out noise when you’re cruising down Lafayette on a Saturday afternoon. If you want to be able to really get lost listening to MIA, get these bad boys. They’re light and comfortable and promise “perfect auditory balance.” And i

I
f they look familiar, then you’ve probably partied with Mr. Dim Mak himself, Steve Aoki – they’re his ‘phones of choice.

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11) LEO VIBRATOR (in festive holiday sparkle!)
PRICE: $70
WHERE TO BUY: Babeland, 94 Rivington St., NY, NY
FOR: Your single friends. And sexually-unfulfilled attached ones.

When did even sex toys succumb to the pressure of smothering themselves in glitter in order to project that image of ‘holiday cheer?’ Anyways, this time of year can be depressing for those without a special someone to kiss under the mistletoe. Well, screw kissing! Turn that frown upside down and give your single friend one of these!  They won’t care that they had to go to the company Christmas party alone – they can go and have a few Peppermintinis and then come home to Leo! Like the website description says, he’s “definitely a very hot date.”

[ CLICK HERE TO READ THE 2006 HIPSTER GIFT GUIDE! ]

Still looking for that special something? Check out our previous gift guides!

» 2010 HIPSTER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

» MUSTACHE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE!

» 2009 HIPSTER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

» 2008 HIPSTER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

» 2007 HIPSTER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

» 2006 HIPSTER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE